stained glass and visions in white

Weddings are such odd social occasions. The bride gets all dressed up (to the point of looking like her ever so expensive wedding cake sometimes) and the poor groom wears the same thing as all the other men in the wedding. People are crying everywhere for no reason. I mean the reason is that they're happy. So I'm told. Except that anyone who knows anything knows that the mothers and inlaws and bride and maybe even bridesmaids have all been nervous wrecks and probably at each other's throats at some point prior. The groom gets to have a wedding ring now, to match the ring that has declared his claim on the bride since the moment she agreed to be his. And everyone is very formal and serious as two people sign the rest of their lives away to each other. It's wonderful and beautiful and dealthy terrifying at the same time. But everything is decked in rose petals, so no one minds.
I never want to be in one of these. I mean, in one as that one main girl in a white puffy dress who's such a big deal. Such a big deal that she can't even make the decision herself to take those vows of committment. She has to be given away, handed off from one male care taker to another. No thank you - patriarchy makes my bones shudder.
But for many people, this cultural phenomenon is an important and meaningful one. And even though I don't understand it, I can look at my friends who I know and love and be glad for their happiness in it. I know they love each other, what does it matter the ceremony they use to declare it, to seal the deal. It scares the shit out of me, but it makes them happy. And when people I love are happy, it makes me happy. Better yet, when I know they are happy becuase of something stong and good and true, it is beautiful. What they have isn't mine, it's theirs. And I'm glad I got to witness it.
Hopefully our culture will change, and the ceremonies commonly used to declare the bonding of two people won't have so many wierd, arguably unhealthy rituals. Until then, I just hold out til the reception, where we can all dance together.